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Taste Test: Ol' Glory Beer

5/29/2013

1 Comment

 
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While trolling the Big Lots one Saturday afternoon, we happened upon cases of something called Ol' Glory beer. Being a beer lover and a good, God-fearing, patriotic American, I had to scoop up a 6-pack.  I mean, look at that can! Passing up on this would be like handing over your 401(K) to the Jihadists.  

The first impression was breathtaking: soldiers raising Ol' Glory on Iwo Jima, "Support Our Troops" emblazoned on the front of the can and the Pledge of Allegiance stamped on the back in a font large enough for our aging WWII veterans to read it.  I was so excited to try this beer that I couldn't even wait until it chilled to the perfect 38 degrees so I cracked one open while still room temperature - the perfect test of a beer's drinkability.  Well, it's a nice light amber lager, good color, smooth pour, and tastes like an invigorating hybrid of Schlitz and cat piss.  This one really took me back to my youth and reminded of Red, White & Blue (see picture).


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According to their website (http://olglorybeer.com), Ol' Glory comes in three 'convenient sizes': 6-pack of 12 oz cans, 4-pack of 16 oz cans, or the bazooka of beers - the 24 oz King Can.  This means, no matter what your level of self loathing, there will be an Ol' Glory that's right for you.  If you're not old enough to responsibly enjoy a beer or 12, don't worry...they also offer Ol' Glory energy drinks and soon a full line of coffee.  

This beer may be the answer to all our problems.  Hard day at the office?  Relax, Ol’ Glory will meet you at the door and rub your shoulders as you sink into your Barcalounger. Your hydro colonic appointment isn't for another 2 months because Groupon way oversold them? No problem – a 6-pack of America's brew will clear you out like a Tijuana taco stand. So while the rest of the world chokes down their fermented yak milk, kick back, crack open an Ol’ Glory and watch some Seinfeld on your giant plasma television.  America!


I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Ol' Glory.

1 Comment
p. tofu
11/26/2013 11:36:45 am

Spot on with the "invigorating hybrid of Schlitz and cat piss" description.

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